Trapped

Is there a way out of this.

Am i destined for this repetition and ridiculousness

Beautiful Soul you say

beauty is in the eyes of the beholder I say

Did i really do any of this for anyone other than my worst enemy

Patriarchal, matriarchal, hierarchal does any of that really influence things at this point

maniacal perhaps…

Just beyond the tip of his nose, just out of reach, the crevice is soooo miniscule 

I know there is light but with the 10,000 things in the way how can I feel it’s warmth

Easier to just back into the dark for a little while longer.

Damn you for your lies, your betrayals, your abandonment

You made me what I am or what I am not

I just don’t know, you cloud my synapses, you muddy my perceptions

Did you ever let the “good shine through”

Have you ever allowed me to “rise above it all”

I hate you today, not all days but today in particular

I curse you

Why did you do this to me, why have you allowed me to fall once again

I must turn away from the mirror I can’t stand looking at you anymore