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Trials and Tribulations

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CHRISTMAS VACATION (1989)
The insulter: Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase)
The situation: Not having a happy holidays, Clark reveals his Christmas wish would be to tell his boss the following tirade.
The insult: “You cheap, lying, no
good, rotten, floor flushing, low life, snake licking, dirt eating,
inbred, over-stuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog kissing, brainless,
dickless, hopeless, heartless, fatass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged,
spineless, worm-headed sack of monkey shit!”

Why it rules:
We’ve all wanted to call our boss an asshole, but this is taking it to the next level.

9. ANCHORMAN (2004)
The insulter: Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell)
The situation: Ron and his female co-anchor Veronica Corningstone trade insults on the newsroom floor. Hers suck. His don’t.
The insult: “You are a smelly pirate hooker. Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island?”
Why it rules:
Because women really should go back to their homes on Whore Island.

8. SEXY BEAST (2000)
The insulter: Don Logan (Ben Kingsley)
The situation: Nutcase Don is in Spain to convince retired
gangster Gal to return to the UK for one more job. Gal likes the
Spanish sun too much.
The insult: “You’re the problem! You’re the fucking problem you fucking Dr. White honkin’ jam-rag fucking spunk-bubble!”
Why it rules:
Such filth coming from the mouth of Gandhi? Genius!

7. KISS KISS, BANG BANG (2005)
The insulter: Gay Perry (Val Kilmer)
The situation: Dumbass criminal and part-time investigator
Harry Lockheart throws Perry’s gun into a lake without realising it is
important evidence.
The insult: “Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you’ll find?”
“A picture of me?”
“No! The definition of the word ‘idiot’, which you fucking are!”

Why it rules:
Second-guesses Harry (and the audience) with its logical brilliance.

6. A FISH CALLED WANDA (1988)
The insulter: Wanda Gershwitz (Jamie Lee Curtis)
The situation: Lust object Wanda puts it to Kevin Kline’s kidnapper Otto that he’s not as bright as he thinks he is.
The insult: “To call you stupid would
be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep who could outwit you.
I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you’re an
intellectual, don’t you, ape?”

Why it rules:
It’s just one of many fine insults in a fantastically written movie.

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